Fractured

Reflecting on my own journey, the path that I’m still navigating. Much like the toxic relationship, the goal posts continue to move in my own quest for happiness. The things that I thought I needed differ vastly from year to year as those I thought I could count on come and go. The only constant is the fact that my children are depending on me to make the very best life for them, even when resources are scarce. Giving up has never been an option, the joy and sadness I see in their faces depend on the daily choices I make for their futures. It’s always been us, even in my two decades long abusive marriage, it was just us, as my ex had no use for children or a spouse for that matter. The separation from my family and any sort of support system fueled the escalating abuse until the face in my mirror was no longer my own. I knew I had to escape, the very obvious step one, but had no idea where to even start.

It takes so many broken promises and false hopes to get to the leaving stage. Emotionally disengaging is absolutely the first step, and probably the hardest. There is no way to view a situation objectively while still attached emotionally, this applies to every relationship in our lives, but more potently, romantic ones. Realizing that nothing will change until we change it and taking back our lives is the single most empowering thing we can do as women. (or men)